💜 Agape Love Daily Grief Support DevotionalThursday, October 29, 2026🌷 When You Miss the Person You Used to Be
🌷 When You Miss the Person You Used to Be
Finding Yourself Again After Heartbreaking Loss
📖 Today's Scripture — KJV
"He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds." — Psalm 147:3
☕ Good Morning, Sweet Friends!
As I sit here this morning with my cup of coffee, watching another beautiful October day begin, I've been thinking about something that doesn't always get discussed when we talk about grief.
We talk about missing our loved ones.
We talk about the empty chairs at the dinner table.
We talk about the birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays that will never feel quite the same.
We talk about the photographs, the memories, and the conversations we wish we could have one more time.
But there's another kind of loss that often comes with grief.
Sometimes, we miss the person we used to be before our hearts were broken.
Have you ever looked at an old photograph of yourself and wondered where that person went?
Maybe you were smiling without a care in the world.
Maybe you were surrounded by family.
Maybe you were laughing, celebrating, or simply enjoying an ordinary day.
And when you look at that picture today, you realize something.
You didn't know what was coming.
You didn't know that your entire world was about to change.
You didn't know that one phone call, one diagnosis, one accident, or one terrible moment would divide your life into before and after.
Oh, sweet friends, I understand that feeling.
And today, I want to talk about it.
💜 The Day Everything Changed
Seven years ago, I received the heartbreaking news that my youngest son, Michael, had been murdered.
He was only 23 years old.
There are moments in life that change us forever, and that was one of them for me.
I remember the person I was before receiving that news.
I remember having dreams for my children and imagining all the wonderful things the future might hold.
I remember believing there would always be more time.
More birthdays.
More holidays.
More conversations.
More opportunities to say, "I love you."
But suddenly, the future I had imagined for my son was gone.
And the mother I had been before that moment was changed forever.
I still love to laugh.
I still enjoy spending time with my family.
I still have dreams and goals.
I still love serving the Lord and helping others.
But there is a part of me that will always carry the sorrow of losing my boy.
And sometimes, I miss the woman who didn't know that kind of heartbreak.
Maybe you understand.
Maybe you miss the wife you were before losing your husband.
Maybe you miss the husband who felt complete with his wife beside him.
Maybe you miss being the daughter who could pick up the phone and call her mother.
Maybe you miss being the parent who never imagined having to bury a child.
Or perhaps you simply miss the version of yourself who didn't feel so tired, anxious, or overwhelmed.
Sweet friend, it's okay to grieve the changes that loss has brought into your own life.
That doesn't mean you're being selfish.
It means you're recognizing how deeply your life has been affected.
🌿 Grief Changes the Way We See the World
Before experiencing a devastating loss, we often take certain things for granted.
We assume there will be another tomorrow.
Another family gathering.
Another chance to make memories.
Another opportunity to say the things we've been meaning to say.
But after loss, our perspective changes.
Sometimes we become more cautious.
Sometimes we worry more about the people we love.
Sometimes things that once seemed important no longer matter very much.
And sometimes the smallest things become incredibly precious.
A hug from a grandchild.
A quiet morning.
A familiar voice on the telephone.
A family dinner.
A simple text message saying, "I love you."
Grief can change our priorities.
It can change our relationships.
It can change the way we respond to the world around us.
And while some of those changes may eventually help us appreciate life more deeply, others can be painful and exhausting.
We may struggle with concentration.
We may feel less patient.
We may find ourselves avoiding places or activities we once enjoyed.
We may become quieter.
Or we may stay constantly busy because slowing down allows the memories and sadness to surface.
Whatever your experience, please remember:
You are not failing because grief has changed you.
You are learning how to live with a loss you never wanted.
🌷 You Don't Have to Become Your Old Self Again
One of the things people sometimes say to someone who is grieving is:
"I just want you to get back to your old self."
I understand the heart behind those words.
People miss seeing us happy.
They want us to feel better.
They want life to become easier.
But sometimes, returning to our old selves isn't possible.
We have experienced something that has become part of our story.
We cannot simply erase it.
And perhaps we don't need to.
Maybe the goal isn't to become exactly who we were before.
Maybe the goal is to allow God to help us live faithfully as the people we are today.
People who carry memories.
People who understand sorrow.
People who have learned how precious time can be.
People who may be more compassionate because we know what heartbreak feels like.
That doesn't mean our losses were necessary or that we should be grateful for tragedy.
I would give anything to have my Michael here.
But I can still ask God to help me live with purpose, even in a life that looks different from the one I imagined.
We don't have to erase the past to find meaning in the present.
✝️ God Still Knows Who You Are
I love Psalm 147:3:
"He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds."
What a beautiful picture of God's compassion.
Think about those words for a moment.
He binds up their wounds.
When someone has a serious physical injury, we don't expect them to pretend they aren't hurting.
We recognize that they need care.
They may need treatment.
They may need help.
They may need time.
And healing doesn't always mean that every scar disappears.
Sometimes the scar remains as evidence of what the person has endured.
I believe we need to extend that same compassion to grieving hearts.
Some wounds are deep.
Some memories still hurt.
Some days are harder than others.
But God has not forgotten us.
He sees the person we were.
He sees the person we are today.
And He knows the struggles we carry that nobody else can see.
You may feel unfamiliar to yourself at times.
But you are never unfamiliar to God.
The Lord knows your name, your story, your sorrow, and every part of your heart.
🕊️ You Can Still Discover Beautiful Things About Yourself
Sometimes grief causes us to believe that everything good about our lives ended when our loved one died.
And during the earliest days of grief, it may genuinely feel that way.
But as time passes, we may begin discovering things about ourselves that we didn't realize were there.
Perhaps we find the courage to try something new.
Perhaps we develop a deeper appreciation for the people around us.
Perhaps we begin writing, painting, gardening, or volunteering.
Perhaps we discover that our experiences have given us compassion for someone else who is hurting.
Or perhaps we simply learn to enjoy a peaceful morning again.
These moments don't mean our grief is finished.
They don't mean we love our family members any less.
They simply remind us that our lives can still contain meaning.
I think about the things God has placed upon my heart over these past years.
Writing.
Ministry.
Encouraging others.
Walking alongside people who are grieving.
Sharing my testimony.
There are days when I feel strong and hopeful.
And there are still days when I miss my boy so much that the tears come without warning.
Both are part of my life.
And both can be brought before the Lord.
🍂 Don't Compare Your Journey to Someone Else's
Another thing I want to encourage you about today is comparison.
Sometimes we see another grieving person smiling, traveling, remarrying, or enjoying life, and we wonder why we aren't doing the same.
Or perhaps we see someone who appears to be grieving more openly than we are, and we begin questioning whether we're doing something wrong.
Sweet friend, grief is not a competition.
There is no prize for being the strongest.
There is no deadline for feeling better.
And there is no single path that every grieving person must follow.
Some people find comfort in staying busy.
Others need more quiet time.
Some people enjoy talking about their loved ones often.
Others prefer to keep certain memories private.
Some people find that their faith gives them strength immediately.
Others wrestle with difficult questions and need time to work through them.
And some days, the same person may experience all of those feelings.
Give yourself grace.
Allow others grace.
And remember that God understands the heart behind every tear.
💜 A Special Word to Those Who Feel Lost
Maybe you're reading this today and thinking:
"I don't even know who I am anymore."
Perhaps your identity was wrapped up in being someone's spouse.
Perhaps you spent years caring for a parent.
Perhaps you built your life around raising your children.
And now, with someone precious missing, you aren't sure what your place in the world looks like.
I want to remind you of something.
Your life still matters.
Your value has not disappeared.
Your purpose has not been erased.
You are still someone God loves.
You are still someone who can receive love.
You are still someone who deserves companionship, kindness, and peace.
And you don't have to figure out your entire future today.
Maybe right now, all you can do is take one little step.
That's okay.
Maybe today you need to rest.
That's okay, too.
Maybe you need to talk with someone who understands grief.
There is nothing wrong with asking for help.
And if your sadness has become so overwhelming that you're struggling to function, please consider reaching out to a grief counselor or healthcare professional.
Faith and seeking support can walk hand in hand.
God has given us people who can help carry us through difficult seasons.
🌸 Learning to Love the Person You Are Today
I want to leave you with a thought this morning.
What if, instead of constantly wishing we could become the people we used to be, we began treating the people we are today with tenderness?
What if we stopped criticizing ourselves for the changes grief has brought?
What if we acknowledged the courage it has taken to survive some of our hardest days?
What if we gave ourselves permission to learn, grow, and experience joy again?
And what if we trusted God to guide us into the future, even when that future looks nothing like what we once imagined?
I don't believe we have to love every change grief has brought.
Some changes are heartbreaking.
Some are difficult.
And some are things we would gladly undo if we could.
But we can still recognize that we deserve compassion.
We can still be thankful for the strength God provides.
And we can still believe that our lives have meaning.
Second Corinthians 12:9 reminds us:
"My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness."
What a precious reminder.
We don't have to have everything figured out.
We don't have to be strong every moment.
And we don't have to know exactly who we're becoming.
We can trust the Lord to give us the grace we need for today.
🌷 A Gentle Reminder for This Thursday
Sweet friends, maybe you aren't the person you were before your loss.
Maybe you laugh a little differently.
Maybe you cry more easily.
Maybe you appreciate the little things more deeply.
Maybe you need more quiet time.
Maybe your priorities have changed.
And maybe there are days when you still wish life could go back to the way it was.
But please remember:
You are still worthy of love.
You are still worthy of kindness.
You are still worthy of joy.
You are still worthy of peace.
And you are still precious in the eyes of God.
The person you were before your loss deserves to be remembered with tenderness.
And the person you are today deserves that same tenderness.
🙏 Thursday Morning Prayer
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for waking us up to another beautiful morning.
Thank You for Your mercy, Your grace, and Your never-ending love.
Lord, today I come before You with a special prayer for those who feel as though grief has changed everything about their lives.
For the mother who misses the woman she was before losing her child.
For the father who no longer feels like the same man.
For the widow who struggles to recognize her life without her husband.
For the husband who feels lost without his wife.
For the sons and daughters who miss the security of having their parents here.
And for every grieving heart that longs for the days before everything changed.
Father, You know the person we used to be.
You know the dreams we carried.
You know the plans we made.
And You know the moments when those dreams were shattered.
Lord, please help us stop being so hard on ourselves.
Help us understand that grief is not something we can simply turn off.
Help us give ourselves grace when we struggle.
Help us recognize the courage it takes to face another day.
And help us remember that our worth is not determined by how quickly we recover from heartbreak.
Father, I thank You for my precious son, Michael.
Thank You for the 23 years I was blessed to be his Momma.
Thank You for every precious memory, every laugh, every hug, and every moment of love.
You know how much I miss my boy.
You know the mother I was before losing him.
And You know the woman I am today.
Lord, continue guiding me.
Help me honor Michael's memory through the love I share with others.
Help me appreciate the blessings You still place in my life.
And help me trust You with the future, even when I cannot understand the past.
Father, I pray for those who feel lost today.
For those who don't know what their purpose is anymore.
For those who struggle with loneliness.
For those who are exhausted from trying to hold everything together.
Please surround them with Your peace.
Bring caring people into their lives.
Give them strength to take one small step at a time.
And remind them that You have not forgotten them.
Thank You for Jesus Christ.
Thank You for the hope we have through His death and resurrection.
Thank You for the promise of eternal life through Him.
And thank You for the comfort of knowing that one day, for those who belong to Christ, sorrow and death will be no more.
Until then, Father, help us walk by faith.
Help us treasure our memories.
Help us show kindness to ourselves and others.
And help us trust that You are still working in our lives.
In Jesus' precious and holy Name,
Amen.
🌻 Today's Grief Support Challenge
Show Kindness to the Person You Are Today
Today, I want to encourage you to do three simple things.
💜 1. Remember who you were with love.
Think about something you enjoyed before your loss. Maybe it was a hobby, a favorite place, or a special tradition.
You don't have to force yourself to return to it. Simply remember that part of your life with tenderness.
🌷 2. Recognize one thing about yourself today.
Perhaps you've become more compassionate.
Perhaps you've learned to ask for help.
Perhaps you've discovered strength you didn't know you had.
Or perhaps you're simply proud that you keep trying.
🕊️ 3. Do something gentle for yourself.
Enjoy a peaceful walk.
Listen to your favorite gospel hymn.
Spend time in prayer.
Call a friend.
Or sit quietly with a warm cup of coffee.
Remind yourself:
"I may not be the person I was before, but I am still someone God loves."
💬 Let's Talk About It, Sweet Friends
Today, I want to ask you a question that may touch some tender places in our hearts.
Do you ever miss the person you were before losing your loved one?
Perhaps you miss feeling carefree.
Perhaps you miss your confidence.
Perhaps you miss the family traditions you once enjoyed.
Or maybe you've discovered something meaningful about yourself as you've learned to live with grief.
If you feel comfortable, share your thoughts with us.
You may also share your loved one's name so we can remember them with you.
And if today is especially difficult, simply leave a 💜 in the comments.
You don't have to explain.
Let's continue making this a place where grieving hearts can find understanding, encouragement, prayer, and friendship.
🤍 Need Prayer or Grief Support?
If you're struggling today, please remember that you don't have to walk through grief alone.
Our ministry would be honored to pray with you.
If you are experiencing thoughts of harming yourself or are in emotional crisis, please reach out for immediate support.
Call or text 988 — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day in the United States.
💜 Agape Love Thursday Reminder
When You Miss the Person You Used to Be
🌷 It's okay to miss the life you had before.
💜 It's okay to acknowledge how grief has changed you.
🕊️ It's okay to discover new interests, friendships, and purpose.
✝️ And it's okay to trust God with the person you are becoming.
"You may never be exactly who you were before your heart was broken. But you are still precious, still loved, and still deserving of beautiful moments. God has not forgotten you."
Have a beautiful and blessed Thursday, sweet friends!
As you go through today, I pray the Lord gives you peace with the things you cannot change, grace for the person you are today, and hope for the days still ahead.
Agape Love MinistryServing Others Through Faith, Hope, and Love
💜 Anchored in Christ Through Loss💜 Hearts Held in Hope — Grief Support of Wilkes County
Remember, sweet friends, you don't have to become your old self again to be worthy of love. God knows every chapter of your story, and He is still walking beside you. 💜
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